7/27/02:

I was in Susannahs mom or my mom's house about to leave with Susannah & someone else. As they went out to the car, I got caught up doing something. I was apparently very upset about something. I ended up packing a couple of boxes and had to have mom help me carry them (and a laundry basket of my clothes) downstairs to the door. I looked outside and Susannah had already left. The only car in the driveway belongs to mom. I said, passive-aggressively, "Well, I guess I'll have to take the subway back, then get a car to come back & get all this stuff." (Hoping she'd let me use her car or give me a ride) She said "Okay".

I stormed outside with a dark-yellow button-down shirt and a can of salt. I was very pissed and began smashing the salt can on the sidewalk. then i noticed lots of ants on the ground and I began to throw salt on them, watching them scatter. I did this for a while, watching the ants, large & small, run about. As I walked, the grassy ground became littered with shit, some of which were orange or red. I realized I didn't have a shirt on and went back to fetch my yellow shirt (which was on the ground near the house). It had gotten extremely dirty (more so than it should've). I picked it up and went back into the house. I picked through the laundry basket for a shite t-shirt. I listened to see where mom was. She was in the front room washing her hair in the sink. I was still very upset.